Oh What a World My Parents Gave Me...

"always, travelling...but not in love; still I think I'm doin' fine."

I always forget how much I love Rufus Wainwright. I always liked his Poses and self-titled album, but Want One and Want Two are such freaking brilliant albums. Which makes me think of other albums that I think are PERFECT. 

Regardless of genre, each album (to me) are just perfectly crafted for what the artist was trying to create. 

Speaking of creating, I am at a standstill. And have been for quite some time now. Someone recently gave me this saying and it sadly describes me: "I am a non-practicing artist." I sing, yet do not perform. I act, yet haven't been on a stage in a very long time. I am a writer, with no finished work to submit. 

I brought my laundry in today...does that count for anything?!...No? I didn't think so either.

Enough complaining...

I'm watching Roseanne right now. I was never allowed to watch it when I was younger. My mom thought she was crass and taught bad family  values. But watching it now, I see how GOOD this show was. Yes, they might be lower class and make low brow jokes about burping and other bodily functions. And yes, she may joke about killing the kids and the kids are disrespectful in response. But...it's real. The characters DO love each other so much and I love watching their interaction. Though we weren't trashy, my family and I definitely had/have such a good relationship and we joke/kid around with each other incessantly. Roseanne really put it out there with a family sitcom about complete comfort with the family unit. I don't know...maybe I'm analyzing it too much, but I think it's great. And it makes me laugh and touches me more often than not. 

"The mark of a good action is that it appears inevitable in retrospect." 

--Robert Louis Stevenson

"I've Got to Get Back..."

"to the house at Pooh Corner by one." 

Kenny Loggins, you tore me up when you wrote that song. Brought me back to these days:

This blog is in response to Brian.net's blog about his favorite childhood cartoons. In my opinion, he did an okay job bringing back some great shows, but really missed the mark by omitting some.  :):)

For instance,

I think I loved it so much because my parents kept a pretty extensive library when we were little (now it's cluttered with awful Sue Patterson and Nicholas Sparks books), and among them was this huge anthology of Grimms Fairy Tales. I was OBSESSED with the fact that so many scary and bad things happened in them. Not at ALL what adults were portraying fairy tales to be. I felt like a rebel, and more so, I felt like I knew something others didn't. So when they came out with a cartoon!? Done and done.

Here's a REALLY good one that until JUST NOW, I couldn't remember the name. I always just refer to it as "that show with the koala bear and screaming lizard'. NO ONE ever remembers this show. But I loved it. The Noozles!!!! Partly, because it was entertaining....and PARTLYYYYYY....because of what came on after it.

Drum roll please...

My favorite show and one of the best theme songs EVER:

David the Gnome. OH MY GOSH. I was obsessed. His fox, Swift. And he and his wife kissing with their noses! And the mean trolls.

And of course, Gummi Bears, Heathcliff, Inspector Gadget, & Scooby Doo were all pretty awesome too.

But, I must say, Brian.edu mentioned Shirt-Tales and other people commented "Oh yeah, Shirt-Tales..." "loved that show"....

I have never heard of it and I don't know what the hell that show is. Weird.

Anyway, I just looked up and saw that somehow when I was channel surfing, I left it on a cartoon channel. The crap kids are watching today....it just makes me mad. Terrible crap. 

Not all progress is growth in a positive direction.  -- Me. 

"Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age. "

-- Ambrose Pierce

"Childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights, before the dark hour of reason grows." --John Betjeman

"It Doesn't Hurt..."

"unless I walk." Sorry, Katie Thompson--I know you meant those lyrics to be sad and heartwrenching, but I am referring to my sun burn. It still hurts so bad. Worst spots: forehead and tops of my thighs. It really hurts to walk. Dramatic. I know.



Speaking of dramatic...
















It wasn't AWFUL. But that's possibly because the experience was made enjoyable by spending time with such good company.




Something else I watched last night....













It was a very interesting night. To say the least.



Yesterday, I spent all day recording a song with Blake, which I haven't done in awhile. At first, I was getting really frustrated with myself and then we just kept going at it and then kinda just made a breakthrough. It made me really happy. I guess I just have to warm up for five hours every day?!? Kill me.
























I got news that my family is safe from Mr. Gustav. That's good news. After Hurricane Rita a few years back, I think everyone was kind of expecting the worst. Isn't that the way with us humans though? We dream of what good things could happen to us; but in our ordinary day, we assume and expect the very worst.




"We can try to avoid making choices by doing nothing, but even that is a decision."-- Gary Collins

I'd Rather Be Sailing...

"on an open sea..." Okay, so I didn't go sailing yesterday Labor Day weekend. I went boating. And had such a good time. I went with Spence and Brian.uk.gov.edu :)
A lot has happened since I last blogged. I was goin to type I hate that we created a verb--'blogging'....but I guess at one point in time, every verb was created. Why not continue the tradition. It's growth, right? ...
Anyway, in my last blog I was sitting at work (Chelsea Studios). Thank goodness, I was fired from that hell hole and I've just been catering for the past few months. Not only that, but I moved out of the Washington Heights apartment and into Sunnyside, Queens...I can't explain how happy I am in my living situation.Kaitlin (one of my two roommates) has a teacup Yorkshire terrier named Ella. And we're obsessed with each other.
That's right. Obsessed.

OH! And I finally bought a computer....at the ripe old age of 25. I am now becoming an adult. Well, as soon as I start making my payments on it. HA....and my student loan. Yikes.

Right now, my family is in Texas evacuating from Hurricane Gustav.

It brings me back to when Hurricane Rita hit a couple of years ago. I was living in San Antonio at the time. I am leading such a completely different life from where I was then. It's crazy to me how quickly and dramatically life can change.
Things are good for me right now. I'm in a really good place.


"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power." Alan Cohen

You Just Call Out My Name...

"And you know wherever I am, I'll come running to see you again." Once again, James Taylor, you have come to my aid. It may be true that I'm going on three hours of sleep and that I'm at work (which is NEVER a good place to be) but I just wanted to write a quick note about how blessed I am. I moved to this city knowing a couple of people. Amazing people. People that I probably wouldn't have made it through my first year without. But as soon as I got a solid footing here, I made more friends that I could have dreamed. (And kept the old...just like the good song tells us...remember?? from like 5th grade? Make new friends...but keep the old ones....one is silver while the other is gold....I digress.) And I can't be more grateful for the people in my life right now. The amazing thing about all of these people...they're all so different.
Friendship in New York is on such a revolving door basis. Though you come and go as you're ABLE, not as you please. You have to build an understanding and patience for friends in this city. And there's also an immense amount of effort it takes to really harvest a deep, true relationship with another person here. Burroughs, trains, jobs, LIFE---all factors. And dividers, honestly. And you've just gotta keep on truckin'. And keep on understandin'.

"True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation."
- George Washington

I'm the One Who Wants to Love You More...

*cue violins* ....That's right, folks. I'm seeing Celine Dion in concert in September. HAHAHA!! I'm so excited. And dorky. But I don't care. Call me what you will; I'm pumped!
So I saw A Chorus Line last night. Every time I go to the theater, I have a dual reaction. It's so strange. Half of me, (the entertained half), is so excited and has such a good time. The other, and unfortunately, much more prominent, half of me is racked with frustration/anger/guilt/and a sudden urge to finally jump in there and attend auditions. Or just jump. *weak laughter*
So I'm sitting here at work...doing nothing, again. My friend, Angela, just came by and hung out for a little while...therefore, I've been amused. But now I'm alone again. At a desk. I could delve into negative energy again right now, but I'm choosing to take a higher ground. I'm going to set up the rehearsal rooms and then sing a little bit in one of the studios. I miss having a piano in my life. I miss sitting up until two in the morning, making up songs with Tim. I miss the happiness it brings me to be alone and just singing Ben Folds or Billy Joel tunes. I need a piano in my next apartment. I've decided I can't live without one. Speaking of my next apartment, I'm finally looking for a new one. Thank the Lord. I can't. I just can't anymore.
Okay...I'm going to set up an Easter egg hunt for my co-workers now. Happy Easter, all!

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son."

John 3:16

You're the Magic that Holds the Sky Up

Ben Folds always gets it right. You know what's so great about his lyrics, melodies, and music, in general? Each song is a story. And each story is ridiculously human. I firmly believe that there's not a person out there who can't connect with AT LEAST one of his songs. And if you care to challenge that, prepare to be destroyed.
I could go on about Ben all day, but instead I'll just give you these.






(Please forgive for the back up vocals)


Love it. Anyway, I'm feeling kinda down today. Whether or not the six hours of throwing up this morning has something to do with it, I'm not sure. But something is just not meshing right now. I'm ill at ease, as Mr. Wilde might write. I don't know if he ever wrote that, by the way. It just seems like something he'd write. I'm not terribly unhappy right now; I just want MORE. More what, you may ask? I can't answer that question. More fulfillment. More love. More enjoyment. More quiet. More reading, therefore more education. I'm reminded of Linda Eder's song, I Want More. And it's a good one if you haven't heard it. Can someone please force me to attend an audition. Please. AGHHHHHHHHHHH! I don't know how much longer I can be invisible.


*Brought to you by the whiniest bitch on the Upper Upper West Side.

"The more intensely we feel about an idea or a goal, the more assuredly the idea, buried deep in our subconscious, will direct us along the path to its fulfillment."

--Earl Nightingale

Take Me As I Am

Thank you, Bryan Adams. Please...take me as I am (afterthought: don't take my life though.) Why are we hell bent on breaking other people down into something that may or may not fit into our lives? When did we all 'realize' that others just don't measure up? I'm not pointing fingers; I'm just as guilty. I know it's trite and simple to say "Love people for who they are". But if that's too much to stomach, how about "RESPECT people for who they are." You don't have to love me and I, certainly, do not have to love you.
Furthermore, where's the reciprocative gentility we used to have? When someone says 'Thank you'. You simply say 'You're welcome'. When someone says 'Excuse me..." Would it KILL you to say 'Excuse me' or 'That's okay' in response? When did we forget this?
I see it on the subway, on the street, going in or out of a store, and in the workplace.

It's not okay. I am a good person, damn it. I try very hard to be the person my parents raised me to be. Why would someone want to squander that kind of behavior? Bitterness? Probable. Anger issues? You betcha. Just a desire to be mean and display authority? *raises eyebrow*

James Taylor says 'Shower the people you love with love. Show them the way that you feel. Thing are gonna be much better if you only will." He does not school us on what to do with those who only rain on our parades. Where are you now, JT?! I need your help.


"I'm not concerned with your liking or disliking me...All I ask is that you respect me as a human being."

--Jackie Robinson

I Didn't Wanna Do It...

No, I won't break out into "You Made Me Love You", but I honestly didn't want to start a blog. I imagined 'blog frequenters/creators' to be one of the following:
- in high school
-a femme nazi
-uneducated people who think the world is interested in what they have to say

I am happy to report that the bloggers I have recently become acquainted with are none of the above. So I will do my best to seamlessly join them.

I've been inspired to write a lot lately, but...alas, we live in a computers-are-necessary-to-breathe world and I, unfortunately, feel that I can't write by hand quick enough for my brain. And the fact that I have no computer in my life is a problem. Scratch that--it's a downright hindrance. I have a roommate who graciously allows me access to his computer from time to time. But too often, I find myself frequenting Facebook or some ridiculous celebrity news site instead of opening Microsoft Word and creating.
We are so fascinated in what other people are doing (ie. Perez Hilton, Idon'tlikeyouinthatway.com), that we've lost touch with how inherently cool the 'self' can be. Yes, I do find Jake Gylenhaal's 'friend' fascinating...But when did I become so uninteresting that I became enamored with someone else's existence over my own. Someone I'll never meet. (I'm such a pessimist! I met Rosie O'Donnell today. Who's to say, right?!...right.)
I'm pretty cool. And I can say that because I lived through eleven grades of being the biggest loser you've ever met. In any cliche high school teenie bopper film ever created, the freak who no one likes (who eats his lunch in the bathroom stall...*clears throat* okay, it was the choir room..not the bathroom, but close enough!!!), that was me! Somewhere between my senior year in high school and college, from outside perspective, I became 'cool'. I didn't change...I just think everyone's priorities changed. It was no longer about who you know, who you're friends with, or what group you're involved in. In college, it's every man for himself. And since I'm smart :), I quickly became the guy leading study groups. That's right! Big M.
This is a tangent. I didn't mean to talk about my grueling adolescence. I just merely wanted to shed light on the simple fact that we are forcing ourselves to become echoes of a sect of people (celebrities, regardless of reason for celebrity) for this simple reason: they're shithouse crazy. And human beings are inherently enthralled with destruction, be it self-induced or man vs. man, man vs. nature (Thank you, Mrs. Richter and The Old Man and the Sea). And we are idly sitting back, watching, with popcorn...waiting for an update.

This is a very random first blog...but it's what came out. And I have vowed that I will stop censoring myself.
I think I'll end each blog with a quote. They probably will never have anything to do with how I'm feeling at the time...just something I find worth a pause.

"What was it about this unlovable century that convinced us we were, despite everything, eminently lovable as a people, as a species? What made us think anyone who fails to love us is damaged, lacking, malfunctioning in some way?...We are so convinced of the goodness of ourselves, and the goodness of our love, we cannot bear to believe that there might be something more worthy of love than us...Greeting cards routinely tell us everybody deserves love. No. Everybody deserves clean water. Not everybody deserves love all the time."

Zadie Smith, "White Teeth"